Welcome to my post for today... and thanks so much for commenting so far. I've been busy these last couple of days but I took a break from doing some very naughty things with a new play partner to blog about today's word: cuddling.
It's so often underestimated but cuddling plays such a huge role in any relationship - especially one with a DD or D/s element.
I like to use the expression 'light and shade' - and that goes for everything, in all aspects of life. There can be no joy without sadness, no highs without lows and no pain without pleasure... at least, not for me. The experience of one greatly enhances our appreciation of the other.
As some of you may already know, I've moved back to Germany for a couple of months. It's where I was born and, even though I didn't grow up there, I did spend my teenage years and my early twenties there. I still have family here and it seemed like the next logical step - hadn't seen my Mum for a year and a half, for one thing, and after 6 months in Thailand, I really really missed some typically 'German' things - cleanliness, for example, and potatoes. lol.
Anyway, I'm a little painslut and I write (and edit) spanking/bdsm books full-time. I love it, but it does have one downside - if I'm not 'getting any', the frustration builds quickly. So while I'm not looking for Mr Right or a committed relationship, I am certainly open to meeting a friendly local sadist to meet up with when I reach that point when I can't sit still or concentrate on my work because all I want to do is be used, hurt, spanked and just plain dominated until I'm a little puddle on the floor, 'weeping from both ends'.
So I put out some feelers and found someone far more quickly than I'd anticipated. And when I told him I still needed to write a blog entry, and he told me I'd better do it otherwise I'd be in Big Trouble, the first word I associated with 'C' was cuddling.
I've played with a number of different Tops, Doms and real, honest-to-god-he-can-only-get-hard-if- he's-really-really-hurting-me Sadists, and while they're all different, most of them don't really cuddle. Of course it depends on the relationship, but I'm talking purely from a play perspective.
So when I got talking online to this guy, whom we shall affectionately refer to as Sir B, we chatted about everything under the sun and, of course, pain... the delivery thereof and the light and shade I was talking about earlier. On that subject, he said something which fascinated me:
"Do you know what I really like to do? Apply light and shade simultaneously. I love to cuddle someone and hurt them at the same time... and comfort them while I'm doing it. Doesn't mean I ease up on the pain, though."
Right there, I melted. The little masochist inside me who craves being hurt by a man who gets off on the look in my eyes when I'm suffering for him just dripped into a little puddle of goo.
But this blog is about cuddling. Long story short, I met up with him. And yeah... he's a Cuddler. With a deliberate capital C. I couldn't believe that this huge bear of a man (and he's tall AND broad) could be so gentle. Funny. Easygoing. We met in public (as you do) and went to a museum and out for some food and talked and laughed and chatted, and there were brief glimpses of his dominant side - but only in the sense that he likes certain things done a certain way and is quick to tell me so.
Even so, I kept looking at him and finding it hard to picture 'playing' with him... hard to imagine that he had a sadistic bone in his body.
Until I found myself in his arms, being cuddled, his fingers twisting my nipple until I could barely stand it, and he was whispering comforting, sweet nothings in my ear even as he twisted harder...
Like this post? Please check back tomorrow for the big D word and don't forget to hop on along to the other wonderful participants in this blog hop.